Freshman year of high school we wrote letters to our senior-selves. Upon opening my letter I was surprised to find I had high hopes for my love life.
“By the end of high school I will have gone to a dance with a boy. I’ll for sure have had my first kiss by then.”
I told myself it would happen when I went off to community college.
I told myself I would have my first kiss at the very least before I turned 21 at college. It didn’t. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 22. I remember feeling like I’d reached a point where I “should just get it over with.” It felt like everyone in the world had already been kissed.
But here’s the thing: the older I get the more people I meet who are late bloomers. Who haven’t had their first kiss and are reaching their 30s. Or are reaching their 40s. And I find something beautiful about this. We are so convinced we must be the absolute last person to have never been kissed, while in fact you are far from alone.
Everyone has their personal reason for waiting. Some people choose to wait. Some desperately don’t want to wait any longer. Some believe it will never happen for them.
Regardless of why, just remember that there are more late bloomers than you think. It’s easy to assume everyone around you is happy, or has everything figured out, or is confident. The depression can feel so real and raw when you start calculating all the people you know who have been kissed, have had sex, are married, have kids, etc etc. But instead of comparing yourself, just take that time becoming the best version of you possible. First kisses are rarely magical and perfect. The movies make them look so gorgeous. Novels make them epic.
But kissing can be gross. And hilariously awkward like when it’s cold outside and your nose wont stop running or your lips are crazy cracked. In fact, I almost started crying after mine since it was so wet and weird. I worried it meant I’d done it wrong since I didn’t particularly enjoy it.
Don’t worry about being bad at it. Whether it’s just a kiss, or making out, or oral sex, or intercourse, never allow your insecurities to stop you from trying. If the person you’re with respects you (which they should. you deserve respect) it’ll be just fine.
So stop counting the years you haven’t been kissed. Start living and opening yourself up to life and possibilities.