Ask What You Want Wednesdays, Readers Questions
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Ask What You Want Wednesday | Keeping Resolutions


I’ve set a few New Year’s resolutions that relate to my dating life (mainly, I want this to be the year I finally get out of my shell) but I’m worried I won’t follow through.

A friend told me about a sign she saw at her local Burger stand: “May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions.”
For some reason, we have a hard time sticking to our goals. Everyone does this.

In 2014 I’m going to visit the gym every day before work (*snooze button*snooze button*)

This is the year I’m going to start eating less meat!! (Gime those fried chicken wings)

By the end of the year I’ll have written the first draft of that novel I keep wanting to write (angry birds, candy crush, celebrity gosssippp websitteesss)

So for starters, don’t beat yourself up. We all know we want to grow and have the best intentions, but then life gets in the way.

Here’s what I’d suggest: break down your goals.

We tend to make big sweeping declarations at the start of a new year. We say big statements like “this year I’ll have my first kiss!” or “this year I’m going on at least one date each month!”
What’s tricky about these statements is they can feel daunting, overwhelming, absolutely exhausting. It can result in simply putting it off.

Break each resolution down into manageable steps. Then remember to feel proud of yourself for acheiving each step. Maybe one step will be to simply research different online dating sites. The next could  be opening up a profile. The next is filling that damn profile out (tell me about yourself? What am I supposed to say without sounding like I’m bragging??)
That way, instead of hating yourself for not achieving the “one big goal” you can look back on the year and see all these small steps you’ve taken. Which, for you, are big steps. I know that I wouldn’t be dating the kind man that I am if it weren’t for hundreds of baby steps and learning, evaluating, growing, growing, growing, all the growing I’ve done in my past.

Now that I think of it, I definitely wrote “Continue to grow in your relationship and appreciate it” but I didn’t write anything tangible or any small steps in order to achieve this goal. I gota go revise my New Year’s resolutions, too!

 

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