Dating with Anxiety
Comments 5

15 Reasons It’s So Damn Scary to Fall in Love

1.If you grow to love someone deeply, to start building a life with them, to trust them, depend on them, believe in them, and dream with them, then you are at risk of losing everything.

2. Being vulnerable with someone is like being a crab without its shell who is then expected to cross an eight-lane highway during rush hour.

3. A dear friend of mine lost her father to a sudden heart attack while we were still in high school. Years later, I don’t recall how it came up, but she said she was afraid of truly falling in love since she has seen how painful it is when you lose it. I think of this a lot.

4. Falling in love can be a one-sided fall. You might think you’re riding a tandem bike, autumn leaves swirling magically around you both as you laugh at the wind trying to pull your hair free from a soft-knitted cap. But then you look over your shoulder and realize you’re riding the two-person bike all by yourself.

5. I wish I could remember who said this, but I once read an interview with an actress (or writer or director or comedian) who said they watched their parents age together. One of them ended up getting sick. When he was no longer able to do so, she watched her mother wipe her father’s bottom every day after he went to the bathroom. This, she stated, helped her remember that she was never going to marry someone until she met someone she’d be willing to wipe their ass.

6. Few things make us feel more alive than love. This means

7. Few things make us feel closer to death than losing love.

8. We don’t always love who we “should.”

9. We love people who hurt us.

10. We love people who don’t love us back.

11. We love people who are struggling, who are scared, who were denied food or human touch or shelter as children, we love those who are still learning how to love back without strings or manipulation and we fight for this love.

12. There is a reason it is called “falling” in love and not something else like “rising to love” or “growing towards love.” Scrapes, bruises, and skinned knees are more common in love than we sometimes remember.

13. Once you’re in it, once you’ve handed over your ticket and pulled the lap-bar down, once you’re listening to the gears click with each inch you climb and then suddenly you’re free falling and there is very little you can do about it. To feel out of control like this, to not have a say in where your body is pulled, is both exhilarating and terrifying.

14. Not all of us were taught the skills necessary for falling in love the healthiest of ways.

15. If you start loving someone deeply, you suddenly know what it’s like to be on the verge of losing everything.

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5 Comments

  1. This is one of the posts I read and think, “I wish I wrote that!” Spot-on observations. Tragic, but genuine and inspiring.

    And now I have a new criteria for marriage – “not until I’d be willing to wipe your butt.” ;)

    • Amy, thank you thank you thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment! It means so much that you took the time to read it and let me know. Keep on keepin’ on!

    • WHAT holy cow Sidharth this is beyond amazing….thank you so much for this unbelievably thoughtful gesture. Keep up your good work and thank you again for thinking of the blog!

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