If you’re anything like me you’ve recently found yourself turning to your coworker and asking “how is it already December!?” and by coworker I mean cat and by asking I mean shouting.
But seriously, how is this year coming to a close already?
The end of the year always makes me anxious because I feel like I’m “running out of time” to “do everything I wanted to do this year.” This is silly because it’s not like time comes to a screeching halt after December 31st (unless there’s something you’re not telling us ANCIENT MAYANS).
A few years back a friend of mine explained that she doesn’t list New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of a year. Instead, she assigns a theme to her year. For example, she might have dubbed 2013 “The Year of Intention” or maybe 2010 was “The Year of Patience.” I dug this so hardcore because a) as a student of literature I’m ALL ABOUT themes, b) I like the idea of not having the pressure of a written list and c) I’m sorta lazy and can’t always think of a lot of resolutions.
Maybe you’re new to the concept of Year Themes, which is cool because I am too. But that’s okay. What’s awesome about Year Themes is you can retroactively apply them. As in, you can always look back on 2015 and try to see patterns. Habits. Trends. What did you experience in 2015?
I’m really, really, really, really good at thinking of everything I still haven’t done. I’m blue-ribbon-status of being able to feel guilty for not doing more of something or achieving more of something (like winning more blue ribbons for starters!).
What I need to get better at is acknowledging what I have done and feeling proud. And then giving myself a fucking break, amirite? You guys, let’s all give ourselves a fucking break.
2015 was a year of facing fears for me. Whether in my personal career when I quit my job to launch my freelancing career (career could easily be in air quotes), or getting engaged to Jared, or completing several book projects…all of these moments dug up fresh and feverish fear. Fresh-manure-fear that tried to fertilize my self-doubt.
It’s so easy to remain stagnant in life. To believe the voices that shriek you can’t do something, that you don’t know what your’e doing, that you’re going to fail. Fear is so unfairly powerful.
And to be honest, I’ve felt a little burnt out lately, a little discouraged. A little tired. Anyone who has a blog knows this feeling. Maintaining a blog can sometimes feel daunting since your brain doesn’t always knock on the door and hand you a piece of paper that says “Write about this today!” but that’s okay.
I will remain resilient in knowing the blog is okay. That I am okay. I will ignore the fear that scratches against the window at night whispering your blog is dying if you’re not posting all the damn time. I will remember to breathe. I will continue to face fears even if it’s no longer 2015.
Take a look back on your year. What was your theme this year? Was it a year of chaos? Of love? Of learning? What do you hope for 2016?