“But she’s looking at you.”
Guys, she’s got her eye on us. For reals.
Listen, I know this is a complete 180 from my usual posts, but I’ve had a maddening cold this past week and basically all I’ve done is sit in bed and think about the Taylor Swift/Calvin Harris breakup because clearly I need to get out more. #dontjudge
But here’s the thing. A few weeks back I was half-asleep at night and all of a sudden I thought, clear as day, they are still together. This is an epic troll-project.
And now the more I look at things through this lens the more I’m so convinced.
People have already pointed out that Taylor Swift(TS) and Tom Hiddleston(TH) could simply be filming a lengthy, elaborate video that comments on the way the media views her and relationships and I gotta say…I’m pretty much on board. But I also think that it’s totally possible her and Calvin Harris(CH) are still together. HEAR ME OUT.
“But Hattie, HOW? So much has gone down?” you might be yelling at me.
Let’s Start on June 15th
I know this isn’t entirely where it all started (TS and TH danced at the Met Gala on May 2nd, CH tweeted his classy breakup tweet on June 2nd) but June 15th is an important date.
June 15th was D-Day in camp Harris/Swift, when they pulled the pin from the grenade and watched the rest of us scatter.
It was the day the photos of TS and TH kissing on the beach in Rhode Island hit the web.
It was the day CH unfollowed TS and they deleted all images of each other from social media.
And it was the day CH tweeted and un-tweeted THIS:
Interpret this as you will.
On the 15th his original tweet from June 2nd, the one about the end of a relationship, was also deleted
but it would make sense that a) he needed to publicly acknowledge the breakup to help fuel the upcoming story and b) set a classy tone before shit goes down. ALSO “a relationship” is super vague. Just sayin’.
Also, CH’s pinned tweet is from June 16th, the video for This is What You Came For, which we all know got its lyrics from TS. And yet, even after shit’s gone down, it’s still pinned. From June 16th.
The Lightning Bolt
The lightning bolt is the image for the single This is What You Came For. And baby, it’s seriously everywhere.
CH’s twitter banner as of 7/14 even with all the dramz
The lightning bolt most likely symbolizes Taylor as it is oh-so-clearly stated in the lyrics that turns out SHE WROTE HERSELF. “Lightning strikes every time she moves.” In the past she has talked openly about how the media makes huge deals out of her relationships.
So, is the lightning bolt trolling the heck out of us? Is it mocking us as we gobble up all this garbage gossip?
“Baby, this is what you came for
Lightning strikes every time she moves
And everybody’s watching her”
The lightning bolt is also the one piece of photographic evidence of her connection to CH that TS didn’t delete from her instagram…why no delete this one, T??
“Baby, this is what you came for”
Is the “you” us?
Did we come for the drama? For the gossip? For the teardown, glee and snake-emoji attacks? We are all so terrible.
Let’s just say what everyone is thinking: the TS/TH timeline is bonkers. Even for celebrity speed. And TS had just thanked CH in April: “For the first time, I had the most amazing person to come home to when the spotlight went out and when the crowds were all gone.”
June 15th, Rhode Island beach photos revealed
June 23rd, Nashville (meets TS parents)
June 25th, England beach stroll (meets TH mother)
June 27th, Rome Colosseum stroll
July 4th, Rhode Island 4th of July Party
July …. Australia (this is where my cold set in, I can’t find the specific date)
Let’s just say, like, I know celebrities often move fast and maybe TS truly is happy and comfortable being very open, but it’s all been sorta cray. Right?
Meanwhile, CH’s twitter is littered with images of his new single Hype, but let’s look at the definition of HYPE:
Okay guys, it all hit the fan yesterday, July 13th when CH supposedly “went off” on twitter.
But let’s look at this shiz.
Pretty upsetting and sad.
as we know, CH has no problem deleting tweets as he did with his “the only truth..” tweet and his “..it’s about to go down” tweet. AND if he were to go back and eliminate some of these tweets, not only would the message still be coherent and smooth, but it would suddenly make the “you” directed right at US.
Tom Hiddleston Speaks
Tom Hiddleston recently gave an interview where he said to MTV “We are together and we are very happy” and then also told The Hollywood Reporter that “it’s not a publicity stunt.”
Which could still be the honest truth…creating some kind of video or art project is not, technically, a publicity stunt. It’s modern art!!
I don’t know guys…maybe it’s the cough medicine talking or maybe it’s my lack of social activity in the past year, but I’m prettttty sure I’m completely a genius
Evidence Against Me
Listen, there’s so much evidence against me. And it’s Occam’s Razor tells me that the easiest answer, the simplest solution, is usually the right one.
I can’t for the life of me find this actual comment on CH’s instagram, so here’s the article about it on PerezHilton.
I’d say this shoots my theory to shit.
Although there’s also this one:
WHICH TOTALLY SUPPORTS MY THEORY.
But then there’s this:
which means I’m the opposite of smart.
Sooooo basically who knows.
If the simplest explanation is the right one, then I’m guessing TS is really dating TH. They are happy. They are living their life. CH was hurt, he’s trying to navigate those feelings in a very public arena that makes it challenging. And this makes me sad. Which is probably why I’ve woven this embarrassingly elaborate web in the first place. #defensemechanism
“But she’s looking at you.”
header image: http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/7393440/calvin-harris-taylor-swift-breakup-tweet-dance