Latest Posts

Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift Secretly Dating

I Still Think I’m Right About Taylor Swift & Calvin Harris (UPDATE! Clues! I need to get out more!)

So listen, a few of you indulged me a few months back and read my wildly lengthy blog post about how I thought Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris might still be together even amidst her Hiddleston stuff.

I stand here today, nearly two months later, standing by my claim.

I’m gona keep this one short and sweet, but here we go:

Yesterday, September 6th, the news came out that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston broke up.

On September 3rd CH tweeted three geese emojis (much like he used to tweet the three lightning bolts ((see previous blog post on why this matters)).  Then on September 5th (one day before the breakup news) he tweeted a new image of the “This Is What You Came For” patch with new colors and geese where there used to be lightning bolts.


He also changed his twitter header image to the same thing  (also, note what his pinned tweet STILL is after all these months..):


Remember, this patch is the only evidence TS left on her instagram that alluded to her relationship with CH…the one of her wearing the jacket with the “This Is What You Came For” patch:

ts lightning

Listen, these guys are artists. They are all about symbolism. The patch is evolving. And these two are some of the most powerful and watched musicians we’ve got. I would love if they were brewing a major troll-project above all of us, to prove a point about how much we all foam at the mouth about their personal lives (myself included *punches self in face*). To be honest, I just really like Taylor. I like Calvin. I liked them together. Maybe they’re scamming us.

If not, that’s cool too. I should get back to brushing my cat or eating in front of a mirror, anyways.

“Lightning strikes every time she moves…but she’s looking at you”


10 Ways to Calm Your Internal Mama Bear

The other night I got mad. Real mad. I came across something online, something someone said about a person I know, and the mama bear in me raged. I wanted to act. I wanted to chase someone up a tree. I had my response and was ready to throw it like a pine cone.

Anger is an emotion we all have and we constantly are learning to navigate. I grew up around several individuals who had tempers and therefore I associate anger and being upset as “bad” emotions. I’m still learning how to be better at being mad. It is natural for things to upset us. It is okay for things to upset us. It’s how we handle them that makes the difference.

Anxiety is particularly good at stirring up our anger. We are prone to negative thought patterns, obsessive worry, and increased irritability. If you struggle with anxiety odds are you also find yourself struggling with angry emotions from time to time. But there are ways to help yourself through these moments…

1. Acknowledge That You’re Angry

Listen, telling yourself you’re not angry is not gona work. Plus, fully ignoring the anger and bottling it up is just like shaking a soda can and hoping that calms everything down. For your health and for your growth, accept and acknowledge that, yes, you are angry. Simply be in that anger for a few minutes.

2. Check-In With Your Body

If you live with anxiety, you know how it can affect your body. The same goes for anger. Spend a few minutes identifying the ways in which your body is reacting. Maybe you feel tension in your neck and jaw, your legs are restless, your arms and hands are tingling, your heart rate has accelerated…do you quite literally feel like you’re ready for a fight? Mama bear.

3. Breathe Dammit

If you’re body is gearing up for a fight no one has time for such trivial shit as breathing! You’ve got more important things to do! But this is exactly what you should do. Seriously. Because most likely you’re not breathing (what I mean is you’re probably taking very shallow, unhelpful breaths). Consciously breathe in through your nose while counting to 4, hold the breath as you count to 3, then release slowly. Repeat.

4. Identify Your Thought Patterns

Hey, what are you thinking right this second? Because if you’re angry, more likely than not you’ve got a broken record looping around in your head. And that record is also sitting in a pot of boiling water and it’s getting hotter and hotter and loopier and loopier. STOP. Force your brain to think of something new. Anything new. Preferably something with which you have positive connotations.

5. Turn on Some Tunes

Music is powerful. One way to re-track your thoughts and physical response is by putting on some mood-adjusting music. Whether you want loud music that matches your current mood or calming music that helps mellow you out, let the music help you through this moment.

6. Watch Some Funnies

Hop onto the internet and watch your favorite funny clips or start finding some new ones. Do you love watching kids fail with epic proportions as they try to do all the sports? Watch some of that shit. Do you enjoy cats sleeping in the sun? Dig up a few of those videos, I think the internet has at least, oh, 5,000 of those.

7. Move

Help get some of the arterial tension and frustration out of your system. Move. Take a quick walk, do a few sit ups or push ups, stretch out your muscles. For long-term benefits, pick up a regular activity that helps you stay aligned with your physical being. Start a kick-boxing class, yoga, or take a walk every day after work.

8. Dig Up The Roots

“Where is this anger really coming from?” the cliche therapist asks its client on another daytime TV drama. But really, ask yourself this. Have there been multiple little things adding up for a while? Did you have a challenging day at work so your patience was already worn thin? Try and figure out why your reaction today is what it is. Anger is a wonderful way to tap into things in your life that need to change.

9. Write Things Down

Sit down for a moment and write a letter to the person with whom you feel upset. Outline everything you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, and how you wish it would change. Don’t hold anything back, no matter how small or ugly. Next, try to see things from their perspective. Do your best to try and understand where they are coming from. Then, tear the letter up.

10. Go Easy On Yourself

People with anxiety are very talented when it comes to being their own worst enemy. We are awesome at seeing our failings, our faults, and our shortcomings. And if you find yourself losing your temper, saying something you wish you hadn’t, or thinking negative thoughts it’s easy for us to quickly turn on ourselves. But remember that you are human and anger is an integral part of the human-emotion-spectrum. It will exist whether you want it to or not. So instead of beating yourself up, take a deep breath and tell yourself you are going to learn and grow.

When I was mama bear’ing the other night and was ready to fire off my thoughts, I told myself to get a nights sleep first. If I woke up and still felt the same way, then I was welcome to proceed.

It was HARD to turn off my brain and to fall asleep. I wanted action. I wanted it NOW. But the following day I was grateful I hadn’t acted. The situation is not something I want to engage in. While I don’t agree with the manner things unfolded, there are other ways I can support and help the people I care about instead of adding fuel to a fire I didn’t start.

There will be things in life that make you angry. But holding onto that anger is like holding onto Poison Ivy and then complaining that you’ve got this hideous rash.


Social Media Sometimes Makes Me Feel Miserable, So I Took a Break

Back in June I started to notice something every time I logged onto Twitter: it made me feel terrible.

I would scroll, I would watch, and I would feel so so lost.

But I am a blogger. I am a writer. I am expected to “build my brand” as an online presence. I need a “platform.” I need to be conscious of my accessibility, my persona, and my level of likability. I’m supposed to gain copious followers. I’m supposed to prove my popularity by my retweets, my likes, my finger on the pulse of the youth. There is so much potential with social media. And I’m the first to acknowledge that it’s done wonders for our ability to share, engage, and help move important causes forward (as well as the all-important abundance of cat videos).

This year has felt rough though, as far as what is going on in the world. While every year, in the history of years, has it’s collections of tragedies, injustices, disasters, and sadness, I’ve felt the weight of 2016 a little more acutely for some reason. I’m not sure why.

It was around the time of the shooting in Orlando, or yet another innocent black citizen being shot by police, or people in my country rallying behind one of the most repulsive voices of hate I’ve ever seen, or the bombing in the Istanbul airport, when I just couldn’t bring myself to log onto Twitter. I couldn’t.

I would see people sharing the phrase “Remaining silent in the face of injustice is the same as supporting it” and I’d feel breathless with guilt.

Because here’s the thing:

I wasn’t speaking out about all these situations that upset me, that made me sick to my stomach, that left me awake with heartache at night.

And if I did? I would be crushed under the weight of the rhetoric and goals of my Twitter.

Maybe I am overthinking all of this, maybe I am “too sensitive” as people have labeled me throughout my life, but for now I don’t care. I need space to breathe. Am I outraged and saddened by things I see out in the world? For fuck’s sake of course I am. Am I personally person choosing Twitter or Facebook as a platform to express these emotions? No. And sometimes this makes me feel like I’m being a shitty human.

I made an offhand comment to a fellow writer the other day about how I was taking a break from Facebook and Twitter and she nodded in understanding. “Do what you need to do to protect yourself,” she said. “Sensitive hearts need to practice boundaries.” It surprised me how nice it was to hear her say this.

I’d been feeling like a failure for not enjoying the social media world. I’d sit there watching literally hundreds of people sharing, connecting, chatting, being witty, being creative, being fearless, and seemingly finding it so easy. Why do I sometimes find it so hard?

I know a lot of you are part of this online community, building followers and hoping to reach higher forms of connection using the online tools at your disposal. How do you keep your sanity? How do you preserve your sense of privacy while staying open and engaged? I’m really asking.



Why You Should Meet that Online Crush in Person Sooner Rather than Later

I was supposed to be working on my writing exercise. After telling myself I was going to attend a local writers Meetup for over a year I finally dragged myself out into the world and did it. I was at a neighborhood coffee shop, surrounded by eight other women writers from Seattle, and we were doing a 10 minute character exercise. Except I couldn’t concentrate.

I couldn’t concentrate because there was a first date at the table next to me. And they’d clearly met online. And it was clearly uncomfortable for both of them.

To be perfectly honest, I could sit and listen to first dates all day long if I could. I love those first moments of sheer terror, of hope, of uncertainty, of wonder and fear.

One of my first serious, head-over-heels crushes was with a man I met online. Or, we were introduced online by a mutual friend and started exchanging emails. And lemme tell you, hot shit was he dreamy and witty and perfect.  And for the first time in my life I felt genuinely desired by a man, which made me feel more drunk than if I’d been on a cruise with free booze.

He lived in another state. And about two months after we talked exchanging emails (and talking on the phone) he visited with a few mutual friends and we quickly brought out some board games. It was a competitive game, one that required teams and guessing and drawing.

What I quickly realized, with my stomach dropping and my cheeks lightly burning, was that he was not the easy-going, carefree person he’d seemed over email. In fact, he was sort of nasty. His idea of a joke was a cruel stab at his friends intelligence and a mocking comment on another’s slow response. He grew defensive when he got an answer wrong. He argued about the timer, the drawings, the score.

The charming and lighthearted man I’d fallen for over email wasn’t exactly charming in real life. And I found myself wishing we’d met in person much, much earlier. I wish I’d seen the way he rolled his eyes at people. I wish I’d heard his tone of condescension. I wish I’d felt the way he repeatedly told me to “take a joke” as if we were in third grade and the gum I’d just sat in had been my fault.

It was such a bummer of a night.

But you know what? I’m guessing I was also a different person than I’d portrayed online. I’m sure I wasn’t as confident in person, as sassy, seductive and easy-going. I imagine he was expecting someone else, too.

But this is also why I tend to encourage people who are connecting online to meet in person sooner rather than later. While my anxiety and ever-growing-tendency-to-stutter makes me appreciate the chance to clearly communicate my thoughts and feelings via writing, I also know how impossible it is to reflect those subtle personality quirks online. They can’t see the way your smile blooms when you see a dog walk past the coffee shop window. They won’t see the way you gently thank the barista as they hand you your drink. And these moments are what make us truly fall for each other.

Let’s just get the cliche out in the open: actions speak louder than words. That shit’s the truth.

It is exhaustingly scary to plan to meet up in person. But it will also allow you to quickly realize whether or not this is something you want to pursue or if there might be a better fit for you out in the world. Because let’s be honest, anyone who threatens to throw a Taboo buzzer across the room because they got an answer wrong is not sexy.


Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift Secretly Dating

I’m Pretty Positive Taylor Swift & Calvin Harris are Still Dating & Here’s My PROOF

“But she’s looking at you.”

Guys, she’s got her eye on us. For reals.

Let’s Begin

Listen, I know this is a complete 180 from my usual posts, but I’ve had a maddening cold this past week and basically all I’ve done is sit in bed and think about the Taylor Swift/Calvin Harris breakup because clearly I need to get out more. #dontjudge

But here’s the thing. A few weeks back I was half-asleep at night and all of a sudden I thought, clear as day, they are still together. This is an epic troll-project.

And now the more I look at things through this lens the more I’m so convinced.

People have already pointed out that Taylor Swift(TS) and Tom Hiddleston(TH) could simply be filming a lengthy, elaborate video that comments on the way the media views her and relationships and I gotta say…I’m pretty much on board. But I also think that it’s totally possible her and Calvin Harris(CH) are still together. HEAR ME OUT.


Actual photo of me from this past week

“But Hattie, HOW? So much has gone down?” you might be yelling at me.

Here’s how.

Let’s Start on June 15th

I know this isn’t entirely where it all started (TS and TH danced at the Met Gala on May 2nd, CH tweeted his classy breakup tweet on June 2nd) but June 15th is an important date.

June 15th was D-Day in camp Harris/Swift, when they pulled the pin from the grenade and watched the rest of us scatter.

It was the day the photos of TS and TH kissing on the beach in Rhode Island hit the web.
It was the day CH unfollowed TS and they deleted all images of each other from social media.
And it was the day CH tweeted and un-tweeted THIS:
Interpret this as you will.

On the 15th his original tweet from June 2nd, the one about the end of a relationship, was also deleted
but it would make sense that a) he needed to publicly acknowledge the breakup to help fuel the upcoming story and b) set a classy tone before shit goes down. ALSO “a relationship” is super vague. Just sayin’.

Also, CH’s pinned tweet is from June 16th, the video for This is What You Came For, which we all know got its lyrics from TS. And yet, even after shit’s gone down, it’s still pinned. From June 16th.


The Lightning Bolt

The lightning bolt is the image for the single This is What You Came For. And baby, it’s seriously everywhere.

June 10th


June 16th


banner.JPGCH’s twitter banner as of 7/14 even with all the dramz

The lightning bolt most likely symbolizes Taylor as it is oh-so-clearly stated in the lyrics that turns out SHE WROTE HERSELF. “Lightning strikes every time she moves.” In the past she has talked openly about how the media makes huge deals out of her relationships.

So, is the lightning bolt trolling the heck out of us? Is it mocking us as we gobble up all this garbage gossip?

“Baby, this is what you came for
Lightning strikes every time she moves
And everybody’s watching her”

The lightning bolt is also the one piece of photographic evidence of her connection to CH that TS didn’t delete from her instagram…why no delete this one, T??
ts lightning.JPG

“Baby, this is what you came for”

Is the “you” us?
Did we come for the drama? For the gossip? For the teardown, glee and snake-emoji attacks? We are all so terrible.


Uncharacteristic Timeline

Let’s just say what everyone is thinking: the TS/TH timeline is bonkers. Even for celebrity speed. And TS had just thanked CH in April: “For the first time, I had the most amazing person to come home to when the spotlight went out and when the crowds were all gone.”

But now?

June 15th, Rhode Island beach photos revealed
June 23rd, Nashville (meets TS parents)
June 25th, England beach stroll (meets TH mother)
June 27th, Rome Colosseum stroll
July 4th, Rhode Island 4th of July Party
July …. Australia (this is where my cold set in, I can’t find the specific date)

Let’s just say, like, I know celebrities often move fast and maybe TS truly is happy and comfortable being very open, but it’s all been sorta cray. Right?



Meanwhile, CH’s twitter is littered with images of his new single Hype, but let’s look at the definition of HYPE:


Recent Rant

Okay guys, it all hit the fan yesterday, July 13th when CH supposedly “went off” on twitter.

But let’s look at this shiz.


Pretty upsetting and sad.


as we know, CH has no problem deleting tweets as he did with his “the only truth..” tweet and his “’s about to go down” tweet. AND if he were to go back and eliminate some of these tweets, not only would the message still be coherent and smooth, but it would suddenly make the “you” directed right at US.




Tom Hiddleston Speaks

Tom Hiddleston recently gave an interview where he said to MTV “We are together and we are very happy” and then also told The Hollywood Reporter that “it’s not a publicity stunt.”

Which could still be the honest truth…creating some kind of video or art project is not, technically, a publicity stunt. It’s  modern art!!

I don’t know guys…maybe it’s the cough medicine talking or maybe it’s my lack of social activity in the past year, but I’m prettttty sure I’m completely a genius


Evidence Against Me

Listen, there’s so much evidence against me. And it’s Occam’s Razor tells me that the easiest answer, the simplest solution, is usually the right one.

I can’t for the life of me find this actual comment on CH’s instagram, so here’s the article about it on PerezHilton.
I’d say this shoots my theory to shit.


Although there’s also this one:


But then there’s this:
which means I’m the opposite of smart.

Sooooo basically who knows.

If the simplest explanation is the right one, then I’m guessing TS is really dating TH. They are happy. They are living their life. CH was hurt, he’s trying to navigate those feelings in a very public arena that makes it challenging. And this makes me sad. Which is probably why I’ve woven this embarrassingly elaborate web in the first place. #defensemechanism

“But she’s looking at you.”


header image: