All posts filed under: Ask What You Want Wednesdays

A Story From a Reader

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This is a follow-up message, sent from the same reader who wrote the “Ask What You Want Wednesday” question on December 23rd. This content has been posted with permission from the writer. Sadly, there wasn’t a happy ending to my story as I hoped there would be, but I hope that the end of this will provide some comfort and hope to your readers. I spent Christmas doing the things I wanted to do, and I kept in touch with this man by texting each other once a day. I felt chilled out and positive, which made a nice change. After a lovely exchange on Boxing Day, I stopped hearing from him completely, but I managed to relax about it and just assumed he was busy. After a few days, I asked him if he was okay. He responded by saying he was fine and just had some family trouble. I took his word for it, but when I went back to the city to spend New Years with my friends, I’d still heard nothing. After a …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Struggling with Self-Doubt

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All my life, I have struggled with anxiety and self-doubt. As a result, I have never had much experience with men. Whenever I start to develop feelings for someone, I get scared and pretty much end it before I can ever actually date them. I have started to develop feelings for someone that I think I want to pursue a relationship with, but I’m not sure how to even begin to overcome my fears of opening up to someone. All my life I have battled with feeling not good enough, I’m not sure how to even feel ready to put myself out there for love. How can I overcome this? This was such a wonderful question to receive because it honestly felt like I wrote it — it is like you read part of my diary and pulled my exact thoughts from its contents. This is why I love this blog. Because even though we might feel so alone, we are actually so seriously together in this exhausting pursuit for love. And the phrase I immediately …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Opening Up

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I’ve gone on a handful of dates with this new girl who I really like and the other night she asked me about my anxiety. I’ve never talked to anyone about my mental health before, let alone a girl I’m trying to date, so I sort of froze. I want to tell her about myself but am nervous she will get scared or I’ll do a crappy job explaining myself.  It’s understandable you would feel hesitant to share this side of your life with someone you are just getting to know. Not only is she someone new in your life (and therefore trust has yet to be deeply established) but you also are in the beginning stages of an intimate relationship. This means you are still doing your best to be your “best” self, most likely. Since you are entering unknown territory that also requires you to be vulnerable, remind yourself to not feel pressure to share more than you are comfortable. At least at first. While it is  important to help this other person …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | New Relationship Confusion

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I just started dating this guy that I really like and at first we talked all the time now he’s gotten really busy with work and life and we barely talk not to mention he lives like an hour away, its driving my anxiety thru the roof. I don’t know how to get him to understand this or what to do I need HELP! It sounds like there has been a miscommunication about what each of you defines as “dating.” It’s so understandable that your anxiety would be escalated by his behavior. If your expectation for a significant other is for them to be present, to talk with you about your days, and make an effort to frequently see you (regardless of distance), then the reality of the situation is understandably frustrating for you. However, if his expectation is that a relationship is more flexible and his partner understands that he’s busy and has a life outside the relationship, then he might be confused by your reaction to his behavior. The best thing you can …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Long-Distance Texting

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I am a 20 year old late bloomer with social anxiety that worsens over anything relating to romance. Now I have a guy I like that I think likes me back. We’ve been “talking” all summer via text because he’s got a job in a completely different state. I’m not sure what exactly I should be doing? Asking advice from my friends makes the anxiety worse because they think its funny that I struggle over the basics and make me feel like I’m a child or I’m doing something wrong…. First off, you are not alone in experiencing an increase in your anxiety over a possible budding relationship. Right now you are in a place where there are a lot of unknowns. You think he likes you back, he lives in a completely different state, and you’re not sure what you should do — of course your anxiety is going off the charts! That’s a lot of uncertainties to take on at once. I’m guessing you have other things going on in your life too, …