All posts filed under: Confidence

How the holidays can make you feel depressed or anxious about love

All the Feelings the Holidays Dig Up

The holidays bring up a lot of emotions and I know from experience that one of these emotions can be loneliness. I’m not sure if it’s the prevalence of romantic holiday movies, or the emphasis on connecting to other humans, but for some reason the Christmas-season is a time when I would always hate being single. I’m not sure if it’s true, but I feel like it’s gotten worse in the era of social media. Now every person can advertise what they do with their special significant other. Photos of cute winter-wonderland adventures. Couples buying trees together. Sipping cider. Traveling the world etc etc. I remember, years ago, seeing a photo of a friend and her boyfriend in Paris for Christmas: the image is seered into my brain. How could it not? When it comes to feeling lonely in the holiday season I highly suggest turning off your social media. Or at least avoiding it. I know this isn’t always easy — social media can be very addicting and can give you a sense of …

Silencing the Inner Critic

First off, HELLO!! :) To make a little introduction, so you don’t think I’m just some random person hi-jacking the blog, my name is Cait and I just freaking ADORE our girl, Katie, over here. We’ve been friends for years, and she is a person that I can’t tell you how much I admire and respect. Be it laughing or crying, needing support or a vent session, or just a person to act silly with. What’s more, as you can all attest, she’s incredibly perceptive and rocks at giving advice. Myself, in a nutshell: I’m a writer, artist, and runner. Pretty much sums me up, I have my own blog The Arty Runnerchick where I cover all of that stuff. What I don’t talk about as much is that I also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have struggled with plenty of anxiety issues and even depression. Everyone has their own crap and baggage, so the first thing I want to say is that you are NOT alone, and struggling with anxiety and anything else is …

Giving a name or identity to your anxiety if anxious about dating

Naming Your Anxiety, Naming the Beast

When I can feel my anxiety bubbling up, when it starts to take over, I imagine it as a thing separate from me. I started doing this years ago, especially when I understood a lot less about my relationship with my anxiety. I would try to remove myself. I would get upset at my anxiety. I would tell my anxiety to go away. I would try to tell it it didn’t control me. This didn’t always work. Somewhere along the way, I’m not positive when, I attached a face to it. A character. And it was one that already existed in the world. I chose the big red monster from the old Looney Tunes cartoons. He’s menacing. Big. Aggressive. But also a little dim. And, in the end, harmless. This is how I’ve come to relate to my anxiety. I later found out the character’s name is Gossamer, which makes it even more fitting. Merriam-Webster defines Gossamer as a piece of spider’s web; a very light or delicate material. Despite my anxiety seeming like an …

If you're nervous scared shy or anxious about first kiss advice

Nervous About Your First Kiss?

Freshman year of high school we wrote letters to our senior-selves. Upon opening my letter I was surprised to find I had high hopes for my love life. “By the end of high school I will have gone to a dance with a boy. I’ll for sure have had my first kiss by then.” It hadn’t. I told myself it would happen when I went off to community college. It didn’t. I told myself I would have my first kiss at the very least before I turned 21 at college. It didn’t. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 22. I remember feeling like I’d reached a point where I “should just get it over with.” It felt like everyone in the world had already been kissed. But here’s the thing: the older I get the more people I meet who are late bloomers. Who haven’t had their first kiss and are reaching their 30s. Or are reaching their 40s. And I find something beautiful about this. We are so convinced we must …