All posts filed under: Getting physical

What It’s Like to Have a Vagina that Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

“They are called vaginal dilators,” the doctor said. She held a smooth white box in one hand and a colorless rubber spear in the other. It looked like the world’s least sexy dildo. I was mortified. I didn’t want to anyone to know about this. Ever. This was going with me to the grave. As I hurried from the doctor’s office to my car, an innocent looking paper bag clutched under my arm, I kept reflecting on how love, relationships, physical intimacy, and now sex seemed so much more difficult for me than other people. Everyone else made it look so easy. After stashing the box of dilators under my bed and praying to every God of every religion that no one would find it, I told my best friend about what had happened. In the supportive way only best friends can be, she immediately made fun of my collection of dildos under the bed. For a girl who hadn’t had her first kiss until she was 22, this box of medicinal dildos was a …