All posts filed under: Personal Growth

Social Media Sometimes Makes Me Feel Miserable, So I Took a Break

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Back in June I started to notice something every time I logged onto Twitter: it made me feel terrible. I would scroll, I would watch, and I would feel so so lost. But I am a blogger. I am a writer. I am expected to “build my brand” as an online presence. I need a “platform.” I need to be conscious of my accessibility, my persona, and my level of likability. I’m supposed to gain copious followers. I’m supposed to prove my popularity by my retweets, my likes, my finger on the pulse of the youth. There is so much potential with social media. And I’m the first to acknowledge that it’s done wonders for our ability to share, engage, and help move important causes forward (as well as the all-important abundance of cat videos). This year has felt rough though, as far as what is going on in the world. While every year, in the history of years, has it’s collections of tragedies, injustices, disasters, and sadness, I’ve felt the weight of 2016 a little …

Why You Should Meet that Online Crush in Person Sooner Rather than Later

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I was supposed to be working on my writing exercise. After telling myself I was going to attend a local writers Meetup for over a year I finally dragged myself out into the world and did it. I was at a neighborhood coffee shop, surrounded by eight other women writers from Seattle, and we were doing a 10 minute character exercise. Except I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t concentrate because there was a first date at the table next to me. And they’d clearly met online. And it was clearly uncomfortable for both of them. To be perfectly honest, I could sit and listen to first dates all day long if I could. I love those first moments of sheer terror, of hope, of uncertainty, of wonder and fear. One of my first serious, head-over-heels crushes was with a man I met online. Or, we were introduced online by a mutual friend and started exchanging emails. And lemme tell you, hot shit was he dreamy and witty and perfect.  And for the first time in my life …

Interview with Comedian Samantha Ruddy

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If you haven’t heard of Samantha Ruddy yet you will soon enough. She is one of the funniest women on Twitter. She writes for College Humor. And she recently opened for Tig Notaro. Aka all around badass. I first came across her when I was one of the hundreds/thousands of people to retweet/favorite this  gem: To me, comedy writing and stand-up comedians are the pinnacle of confidence and intelligence. I am seriously in awe of stand-up comics. I wanted to ask Samantha about being a creative person, living fully, and finding confidence. Samantha was gracious enough to answer our questions and I’m still pinching myself and asking, as Samantha sometimes does, Me? Seriously? First off, can you introduce yourself to our readers? Hi! I’m Samantha Ruddy.  What initially drew you to stand-up comedy? I’ve always loved comedy. Cliche, but true. I work well with others, but I love just getting lost in my head and writing, which I think lends itself to stand-up since you’re working mostly alone. Was there ever a moment where you …

Rebuilding that Confidence like an OG

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As I sat and read through more and more of my statuses from 4, 5, 6 years back I found myself repeatedly asking, “Where did she go?” I disappeared from my personal facebook page for almost all of 2015. I was learning to juggle in the new circus of freelance writing, was planning a wedding, and had already felt like facebook was no longer a place where I felt safe and/or happy. I’ve slowly been stepping back into the shallow-end of the facebook pool, but the water is still a little cold. It still feels like I might swallow some nasty water. And there are still people lurking in the deep end who are wearing plastic dorsal fins. But something interesting happened. I started to read through old posts I wrote years ago, back when I was in college and graduate school. It’s been a bit like peering into the windows of your neighbor’s living room. While you recognize the people, they look utterly foreign in this new intimate environment. I seemed so much happier, so …

My Anxiety Was a Third Wheel on My Honeymoon

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“I know I should be Zen and look at my nerves as a symbol of sensitivity and I should be grateful that we’re even here in the first place, but sometimes I get so MAD at myself.” I sat in the airport terminal, Jared waiting patiently next to me, as the loudspeaker overhead announced they were boarding rows 1 – 20. It was almost midnight and we were about to get on our plane to fly back home. We’d just spent a week in Hawaii on our honeymoon and my insides were churning like the ocean in the middle of a squall. My anxiety was pitching and rolling. The last thing I wanted to do was walk onto that airplane. And I was furious. No matter how much I’m aware of my patterns, my habits, and the way my nerves affect my physical body, it can still betray me despite my cognitive awareness. Like, I “know” there is nothing to be anxious about and yet my digestive track and stomach and muscles refuse to acknowledge this. …