All posts tagged: Ask What You Want Wednesday

Ask What You Want Wednesday: Struggling to Date with Emetophobia

I struggle with dating a lot and I severely struggle with Emetophobia as well. For years my emetophobia has just been a fear of vomiting in front of others and embarrassing myself. However, lately I have actually been vomiting in social situations, especially when I see a guy I am interested in. I am so ashamed of this and I’m trying to find the humor in it, but I am terrified that if I start to date this guy that I won’t be able to do it because of the vomiting. I would love to hear your thoughts. Guys, this questions rocks because I definitely have not talked about emetophobia — and my history with it — nearly enough on this blog. I was  excited to see this message in my inbox because I sometimes forget how experiences that feel so isolating are actually shared experiences. Thank you for sending in this question. And buckle up, this is probably the longest Ask What You Want Wednesday in the history of this blog. First off, there may be a physiological …

Ask What You Want Wednesday: Don’t Want to Ruin a Good Thing

I’m currently seeing this guy and we just started seeing each other. I have GAD and take medicine for it. I keep reading into things too much and I don’t know how to control it. I don’t want him to think I need constant reassurance either. When we’re together he is the sweetest guy and I feel so important to him, but when we talk on the phone I think I read too much into things. I don’t want to ruin a possibly good thing because of my anxiety. Thank you for sending in these thoughts…being concerned about ruining a good thing could be the title of my autobiography “Don’t Want to Ruin a Good Thing: The Adventures of Hattie C. Cooper and Her Irritable Bowel.”  But in all seriousness, you are not alone in this concern OR in the habit of reading into things. Usually when we read into things it is because of uncertainty. When you’re new to a relationship there are a lot of unknowns still. And one of the biggest unknowns, and …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Facing Your Fears

What can an anxiety-ridden person do to stop pushing people away out of fear of love? One of the best ways to approach this experience is by breaking it down into manageable steps. What I mean by this is: fear is a big, big word. Fear can feel like it controls our actions. And it will control our actions if we let it. It can be overwhelming to not only try to overcome fear in our everyday lives, but to also think about overcoming fear in the face of love (which, in it of itself is another big, scary word). Start by taking back control over the concept of fear. You can do this by spending some time to understand its origins. Where, do you think, this fear of love is coming from? For example, if you are afraid of being hurt, try to evaluate why this is. Then, remind yourself of the strength you possess and your ability to overcome pain and sadness. Think of times in the past when you felt hurt and how you …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Struggling with Self-Doubt

All my life, I have struggled with anxiety and self-doubt. As a result, I have never had much experience with men. Whenever I start to develop feelings for someone, I get scared and pretty much end it before I can ever actually date them. I have started to develop feelings for someone that I think I want to pursue a relationship with, but I’m not sure how to even begin to overcome my fears of opening up to someone. All my life I have battled with feeling not good enough, I’m not sure how to even feel ready to put myself out there for love. How can I overcome this? This was such a wonderful question to receive because it honestly felt like I wrote it — it is like you read part of my diary and pulled my exact thoughts from its contents. This is why I love this blog. Because even though we might feel so alone, we are actually so seriously together in this exhausting pursuit for love. And the phrase I immediately …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Opening Up

I’ve gone on a handful of dates with this new girl who I really like and the other night she asked me about my anxiety. I’ve never talked to anyone about my mental health before, let alone a girl I’m trying to date, so I sort of froze. I want to tell her about myself but am nervous she will get scared or I’ll do a crappy job explaining myself.  It’s understandable you would feel hesitant to share this side of your life with someone you are just getting to know. Not only is she someone new in your life (and therefore trust has yet to be deeply established) but you also are in the beginning stages of an intimate relationship. This means you are still doing your best to be your “best” self, most likely. Since you are entering unknown territory that also requires you to be vulnerable, remind yourself to not feel pressure to share more than you are comfortable. At least at first. While it is  important to help this other person …