All posts tagged: Ask What You Want Wednesday

Ask What You Want Wednesday | New Relationship Confusion

I just started dating this guy that I really like and at first we talked all the time now he’s gotten really busy with work and life and we barely talk not to mention he lives like an hour away, its driving my anxiety thru the roof. I don’t know how to get him to understand this or what to do I need HELP! It sounds like there has been a miscommunication about what each of you defines as “dating.” It’s so understandable that your anxiety would be escalated by his behavior. If your expectation for a significant other is for them to be present, to talk with you about your days, and make an effort to frequently see you (regardless of distance), then the reality of the situation is understandably frustrating for you. However, if his expectation is that a relationship is more flexible and his partner understands that he’s busy and has a life outside the relationship, then he might be confused by your reaction to his behavior. The best thing you can …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | College Confidence

I’ve always been insecure about my body but now I’ve started gaining the freshmen 15 since I just started college. I recently came out of the closet and am struggling with a LOT of nerves over talking with guys I find attractive since I’m not feeling attractive myself.  I think before anything you should pause a moment to feel proud of yourself for having the courage to not only A) head off to college, but B) also the courage to be true to yourself and taking the first steps in leading a future of honesty and self-respect. Neither of these steps are easy. And for both of them you deserve a great deal of compassion and warmth. You’ve been true. You have been brave. And college is always a transitional time, especially when it comes to our personal beliefs and perspectives. We are tested. We grow and change. This can apply to all areas of our lives: personal relationships, faith, family, interests, and of course, our body images. Learning to love and accept your body (at …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Keeping Resolutions

I’ve set a few New Year’s resolutions that relate to my dating life (mainly, I want this to be the year I finally get out of my shell) but I’m worried I won’t follow through. A friend told me about a sign she saw at her local Burger stand: “May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions.” For some reason, we have a hard time sticking to our goals. Everyone does this. In 2014 I’m going to visit the gym every day before work (*snooze button*snooze button*) This is the year I’m going to start eating less meat!! (Gime those fried chicken wings) By the end of the year I’ll have written the first draft of that novel I keep wanting to write (angry birds, candy crush, celebrity gosssippp websitteesss) So for starters, don’t beat yourself up. We all know we want to grow and have the best intentions, but then life gets in the way. Here’s what I’d suggest: break down your goals. We tend to make big sweeping declarations at …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Holidays With the Family

I’m spending Thanksgiving with my girlfriend’s family for the first time…HELP! This is very exciting; for starters remind yourself that this is a great thing. It means your relationship is moving forward in a positive way. It means you will get a better glimpse into the world that helped shape your partner. But it also means your anxiety will probably be working in overdrive. Like I’ve advised before, I’ll remind you to fake it ’til you make it. This doesn’t mean you should be phony. Don’t become someone you’re not. Just become the best version of yourself you know you’re capable of being. Your girlfriend obviously cares about you and sees good in you, so make sure the family sees this too! So even if you want to curl up in a ball in the bathroom, or run screaming when you have to meet 5 uncles and 20 cousins, push yourself to smile. To shake hands. To say “it’s nice to meet you.” You can do it. If you start to feel anxious or fidgety, …