All posts tagged: Confidence

How to Keep Going in Those Moments of Doubt

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I still remember pacing back and forth in the parking lot, seagulls shrieking overhead and fishermen walking past at the end of their day. I’d driven out to the ocean, to my favorite pier, because I wanted to make sure I was in a space that felt comforting to me. I had to do something difficult that day. I had to call a boy I liked. I was in college at the time, nearing my twenty-first birthday, had still never kissed someone, and I’d recently been trying to Facebook flirt with a handsome fiction writer in my Southern Lit class. That afternoon he’d left me a voicemail seeing if I wanted to hang out. And that meant I had to call him back. It made me sick to my stomach. I’d been on edge of panic all day. My body was flooded with anxiety and adrenaline and I was weighed down with a heavy cloak of fear. I stood near the water as I dialed his number and with a shaky voice told him I …

Let’s Talk About Love, Confidence & Writing with Author Åsa Maria Bradley

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I am beyond excited to welcome author Asa Maria Bradley to The Anxious Girl’s Guide to Dating today! Asa was kind enough to talk with us about following your dreams with us, despite her busy schedule. Even as her debut paranormal romance novel, Viking Warrior Rising, is flying off shelves and blowing readers away she still managed to make time for us. She’s also giving away a free copy of her book to one of our readers (sweeeet!) If you want to win your very own copy of Viking Warrior Rising simply comment below and/or ask Asa a question in the comments. I love anyone who encourages people to persevere and take risks. To show yourself grace while pushing yourself to grow. Asa does all this and more. My favorite moment from our interview was this: “Why do we trust people’s criticism and doubt their praise? Find people whose opinion you value and trust, and then believe what they tell you about your work and accomplishments.”  So.much.yes. Check out her thoughts on following your heart and your dreams (only she words …

Ask What You Want Wednesday: Don’t Want to Ruin a Good Thing

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I’m currently seeing this guy and we just started seeing each other. I have GAD and take medicine for it. I keep reading into things too much and I don’t know how to control it. I don’t want him to think I need constant reassurance either. When we’re together he is the sweetest guy and I feel so important to him, but when we talk on the phone I think I read too much into things. I don’t want to ruin a possibly good thing because of my anxiety. Thank you for sending in these thoughts…being concerned about ruining a good thing could be the title of my autobiography “Don’t Want to Ruin a Good Thing: The Adventures of Hattie C. Cooper and Her Irritable Bowel.”  But in all seriousness, you are not alone in this concern OR in the habit of reading into things. Usually when we read into things it is because of uncertainty. When you’re new to a relationship there are a lot of unknowns still. And one of the biggest unknowns, and …

Be confident even if you're shy or nervous or anxious

How to Gain More Confidence (and why it’s so damn hard to achieve)

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Anxious people are, by nature, critical thinkers. As in, we are able to analyze a lot of details all at once. Back when I taught college composition I drilled the importance of critical thinking into my students like a pizza chef pounding fresh dough mercilessly. I basically would spend the entire semester shrieking “You only have one life and you better be a critical thinker in this world!!” (Reminder: the word “critical” isn’t used in the negative connotation here. It means you are objectively analyzing something to form an opinion). However, because anxiety generates a LOT of critical thinking skills it is often VERY difficult for people with anxiety to develop any kind of genuine self-confidence. Why? Because we are too damn smart. Haha no wait, sorry, I know that’s reductive and petty what I meant to say was we are really really skilled at seeing the grey areas of life and the positives and negatives of a situation and therefore understand nothing is perfect. But this includes ourselves. For example, say something stupid? Now you get to …