All posts tagged: Getting over fear

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Pre-Date Anxiety

Dear Hattie: A guy I haven’t talked to in person has just asked me out for coffee. We haven’t even named a date yet and my anxiety is driving me nuts and it’s all I’m thinking about. It’s really making me want to just cancel just to make it stop. Before anything, start by reminding yourself that you are in control of your choices. You always have the freedom to cancel or decide against going. But next remind yourself that you have a responsibility to yourself towards growth. It’s often easier, especially when it comes to our anxiety, to stay comfortable and avoid situations that heighten our anxiety. This situation is full of the unknown. This is probably where the majority of the anxiety is coming from. If you’ve never spoken to this person, let alone spent time one on one in a coffee shop having to talk and be a normal human being, it’s almost entirely full of the unknowns. This is very very scary. If you can, try and go to the coffee …

How to talk to a crush if you're nervous shy or scared

Three Minutes of Terror: Starting a Conversation

When I took Speech 101 I learned that on the list of things most feared by humans, fear of public speaking is ranked above fear of death. What? Yep. And here’s what sucks: you usually have to talk when you’re on a date. Which, for someone with anxiety, is a horrifying thought. This is why, before anything, I always tell people they can opt to see a movie on a first date instead of grabbing coffee. If the idea of a first date makes you want to puke your guts out, find another option. It will allow you to get over the first date jitters and allow yourself to adjust and see you won’t die while on a date. During Speech 101 the teacher discussed the fight or flight reaction. When encountering a situation that is scary to us (public speaking, dating, talking to someone cute) our bodies automatically jump into fight or flight mode. Sweating, difficulty breathing, nausea, jumbled thoughts…basically our bodies betray us when we most need to be “cool.” But, here’s the …

If youre looking to date someone on earth

The Best Place to Meet Someone New

It often feels like this: If you’re single, and want to meet someone, you’re supposed to go to bars on the weekend and try to chat with attractive people like you’re some James Bond of your local neighborhood. Be cool But what if you don’t like going to bars? Or you’ve been going to bars for years and years and years and have never come close to meeting anyone? Or you prefer to stay in watching Netflix on your Friday nights? You’ll hear the usual advice. Join a club. Join a gym. Go to Farmer’s Markets. Meet through mutual friends. Speed dating. Online dating. Craigslist. Grocery Stores. Blind dates set up by your dentist (this is how I went on my one and only blind date). The truth is, there are endless places on this Earth where you could potentially meet a special someone. People meet on dirty pee-filled subways, in grade school, in line for take-out, in times of war, in times of peace. People meet. But it feels impossible. I know from experience. …