All posts tagged: Getting Physical

What It’s Like to Have a Vagina that Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

“They are called vaginal dilators,” the doctor said. She held a smooth white box in one hand and a colorless rubber spear in the other. It looked like the world’s least sexy dildo. I was mortified. I didn’t want to anyone to know about this. Ever. This was going with me to the grave. As I hurried from the doctor’s office to my car, an innocent looking paper bag clutched under my arm, I kept reflecting on how love, relationships, physical intimacy, and now sex seemed so much more difficult for me than other people. Everyone else made it look so easy. After stashing the box of dilators under my bed and praying to every God of every religion that no one would find it, I told my best friend about what had happened. In the supportive way only best friends can be, she immediately made fun of my collection of dildos under the bed. For a girl who hadn’t had her first kiss until she was 22, this box of medicinal dildos was a …

If you're shy or nervous or anxious about intimacy

Worried About Your Lack of Foreskin Knowledge? You’re Not Alone.

As we sat around the metal table, the patio umbrella shielding us from the Seattle evening rain, we all listened to our friend’s Honeymoon stories. They’d just returned from their tropical vacation and the rest of us were eager to live vicariously through them. “The third day the water taxi took us to what turned out to be a nudist beach,” she said, laughing. Setting up shop on the beach, they sat reading their books among partially and/or not-at-all clothed crowds. Her husband leaned into the middle of the table. “At one point she looked up from her book and started looking around. Then she asked me ‘Wait…are you circumcised?’ “ Even as everyone joined in on the laughter myself and the other girlfriend’s quickly leapt to her defense, pointing out that we aren’t born inherently knowing what the penis looks like with or without foreskin. And unless someone has blatantly shown you one versus the other you might not be positive what you’re looking at. Plus googling that shit is RISKY and something you might …