All posts tagged: Goals

Collecting Those Relationship Blueprints

It would be so nice if in third grade we all sat down, opened our Relationship Textbooks, and started learning a set of skills. But, unfortunately, that shit doesn’t happen. In childhood we aren’t all taught the skills necessary to build solid, strong relationships. For the majority of us we learn how to “relationship” by what we see and observe in the relationships around us. I know, personally, that my anxiety often rattles around in my brain with negative thoughts. My skull is a gumball machine, my negative thoughts are hideously moldy gumballs, and they love to try and accumulate. Over the years I have spent way too much time thinking about all the things I “should” be doing better or that I “could” have done differently. I have spent a lot of time fixating on what “might” go wrong in the near future/distant future/hypothetical futures. And when it comes to my intimate relationships and the years I spent trying to enter into the dating world I spent a hell of a lot of time hating myself and my …

Ask What You Want Wednesday | Keeping Resolutions

I’ve set a few New Year’s resolutions that relate to my dating life (mainly, I want this to be the year I finally get out of my shell) but I’m worried I won’t follow through. A friend told me about a sign she saw at her local Burger stand: “May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions.” For some reason, we have a hard time sticking to our goals. Everyone does this. In 2014 I’m going to visit the gym every day before work (*snooze button*snooze button*) This is the year I’m going to start eating less meat!! (Gime those fried chicken wings) By the end of the year I’ll have written the first draft of that novel I keep wanting to write (angry birds, candy crush, celebrity gosssippp websitteesss) So for starters, don’t beat yourself up. We all know we want to grow and have the best intentions, but then life gets in the way. Here’s what I’d suggest: break down your goals. We tend to make big sweeping declarations at …

Finding love by setting a goal like a picture

Find a Picture that Represents Your Goal

  I’ve always had an interest in dream boards — in the idea of physically creating an image that reflects the direction I’d like my life to take. About a year ago I made a conscious decision to find several images that clearly represented the kind of relationship I wanted with a significant other. When I was younger I frequently tore pictures of attractive men out of magazines (JTT, waddup. Call me.). They’d hang on my bedroom wall, be taped to my binder, or hidden in journals. But this time I went looking for a different kind of picture. I wasn’t looking for the man I wanted, I started looking for the feeling I wanted. I wanted a photograph that evoked a specific feeling; a feeling of warmth and positive support. Of calm and humor. Of light. I wanted light above all. Something that didn’t make me feel heavy with crazy, weighed down by worry. I wanted to feel lifted by a relationship. I sort of forgot I’d been on this hunt until one night …