All posts tagged: Holding hands

Are you feeling shy about intimacy or holding hands

Let’s Talk About How Seriously Intimate Holding Hands Feels

To me, holding hands feels more intimate than kissing sometimes. When I first started dating, I felt more overwhelmed by the idea of holding hands than leaning forward and touching lips. The only way I can begin to understand this is through the duration. As in, a kiss has an endpoint. While yes sometimes kissing can be lengthy, drawn-out, and part of an entire makeout session, more often than not you move in, make it happen, then make your exit. When you hold hands, you are locked in. Connected. It’s a message to the outside world that this is the person who is spending their days with you. Plus, it’s way harder to run away from someone, laughing over your shoulder in a manic cackle, while they’re holding onto you. A few years back I remember talking to a friend who had recently come out of the closet to her family and friends. She tried to explain how, above everything else, the simple act of walking down the street holding hands with her girlfriend made her …

Women in field self-motivation for nervous dating

If You Do ___ You Will Get ____

  I worked for several years as a behavior therapist and one of the things I learned was this: with the right reinforcement, behaviors can happen. For example, my mom knew how much me and my sister loved M&Ms. We would do pretty much anything for them. So that was how she potty-trained us. Basic bribery, plain and simple. Some might see this as cheating, but it got results. And fast. This trend follows us into adulthood. People want a certain job? They work for it. Want that specific car? You save for it. This often plays out in ways we’re not even aware of, such as wanting the approval of others or the support of loved ones. It can manifest in unhealthy ways (eating disorders, addictions, etc) when we distort our expectations and desires. But I’ve discovered it helped me a lot in my early attempts of dating. I will give you a few examples. Often-times, especially when it comes to new steps in physical relationships, the fear and build-up outweighs the literal act. For example, holding hands …