All posts tagged: Loneliness

You’re Not Alone if You Feel Nervous About Dating

Something really cool has happened over the past few years. I started this blog in 2013. It began as a place where I could think through pain points I’d had while trying to date as I also dealt with anxiety. One of my mantras when I thought about starting this blog was, “I can’t be the only one.” As you guys have shown me, I’m not. And I have the evidence to prove it. This site is powered via WordPress. There are thousands of people who find my blog via search engines online (Google, Bing, Yahoo, etc). For 95% of these searches I’m unable to see the words people typed in that led them to this site. But for the other 5% I can see what someone searched for. There are no other identifying factors for the search terms, so there’s no way to know the person’s age, gender, hometown, etc. Yet this anonymity makes me feel all the more connected.  And it’s one of the coolest things. In 2016 so far here’s a sampling …

How to Keep Going in Those Moments of Doubt

I still remember pacing back and forth in the parking lot, seagulls shrieking overhead and fishermen walking past at the end of their day. I’d driven out to the ocean, to my favorite pier, because I wanted to make sure I was in a space that felt comforting to me. I had to do something difficult that day. I had to call a boy I liked. I was in college at the time, nearing my twenty-first birthday, had still never kissed someone, and I’d recently been trying to Facebook flirt with a handsome fiction writer in my Southern Lit class. That afternoon he’d left me a voicemail seeing if I wanted to hang out. And that meant I had to call him back. It made me sick to my stomach. I’d been on edge of panic all day. My body was flooded with anxiety and adrenaline and I was weighed down with a heavy cloak of fear. I stood near the water as I dialed his number and with a shaky voice told him I …

How the holidays can make you feel depressed or anxious about love

All the Feelings the Holidays Dig Up

The holidays bring up a lot of emotions and I know from experience that one of these emotions can be loneliness. I’m not sure if it’s the prevalence of romantic holiday movies, or the emphasis on connecting to other humans, but for some reason the Christmas-season is a time when I would always hate being single. I’m not sure if it’s true, but I feel like it’s gotten worse in the era of social media. Now every person can advertise what they do with their special significant other. Photos of cute winter-wonderland adventures. Couples buying trees together. Sipping cider. Traveling the world etc etc. I remember, years ago, seeing a photo of a friend and her boyfriend in Paris for Christmas: the image is seered into my brain. How could it not? When it comes to feeling lonely in the holiday season I highly suggest turning off your social media. Or at least avoiding it. I know this isn’t always easy — social media can be very addicting and can give you a sense of …