All posts tagged: physical intimacy

What It’s Like to Have a Vagina that Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

“They are called vaginal dilators,” the doctor said. She held a smooth white box in one hand and a colorless rubber spear in the other. It looked like the world’s least sexy dildo. I was mortified. I didn’t want to anyone to know about this. Ever. This was going with me to the grave. As I hurried from the doctor’s office to my car, an innocent looking paper bag clutched under my arm, I kept reflecting on how love, relationships, physical intimacy, and now sex seemed so much more difficult for me than other people. Everyone else made it look so easy. After stashing the box of dilators under my bed and praying to every God of every religion that no one would find it, I told my best friend about what had happened. In the supportive way only best friends can be, she immediately made fun of my collection of dildos under the bed. For a girl who hadn’t had her first kiss until she was 22, this box of medicinal dildos was a …

Are you feeling shy about intimacy or holding hands

Let’s Talk About How Seriously Intimate Holding Hands Feels

To me, holding hands feels more intimate than kissing sometimes. When I first started dating, I felt more overwhelmed by the idea of holding hands than leaning forward and touching lips. The only way I can begin to understand this is through the duration. As in, a kiss has an endpoint. While yes sometimes kissing can be lengthy, drawn-out, and part of an entire makeout session, more often than not you move in, make it happen, then make your exit. When you hold hands, you are locked in. Connected. It’s a message to the outside world that this is the person who is spending their days with you. Plus, it’s way harder to run away from someone, laughing over your shoulder in a manic cackle, while they’re holding onto you. A few years back I remember talking to a friend who had recently come out of the closet to her family and friends. She tried to explain how, above everything else, the simple act of walking down the street holding hands with her girlfriend made her …